Using Your Trauma To Build Your Future

One of the hardest things we must learn to do is to take all the hurtful experiences of our past and use those experiences as building blocks for our future.  How can the pain from abuse and neglect be used to create a better future?  How can the loss of loved ones and relationships lead to stronger relationships?  How can losing everything translate into gaining all that you ever wanted?

The answer to these questions is not easy.  The effort required to understand these principles is one of the hardest things we will have to put forth.  Learning to become the master over the effects of trauma is a long, painful journey.  But it is possible; And on the other side is greatness.

Many of us have faced abuse in our lives.  Physical, mental, emotional, and sexual abuse are horrific in nature. Often times we begin to believe that we deserve the abuse we are receiving and feel like we are actually doing something wrong if we are not being abused in some manner.   Abuse becomes our norm and breaking that norm is a rough road. 

Fortunately, you made it through.  You are reading this, which means there is purpose for your life.  And all the pain and trauma you went through can be used to help you become a better, stronger version of yourself. Give yourself credit for making it through.  Allow yourself to be loved as you deserve to be, especially by yourself.  Loving yourself is the most important factor in healing from trauma. 

In the same manner, we have all lost people we love.  Whether through the death of someone dear to us or that relationship that suddenly ended.  Emotional trauma is just as real and just as painful as any other.  Far too often we tell ourselves that someone we lose will never be replaced and that we will never love again.  Even worse, we tell ourselves that we are unworthy of love or having someone in our lives to love.  None of this is true.

Rather than focus on the negatives of the situation, spend time being grateful for the time you had with this person.  For the opportunity to love that person.  Even if it was someone who betrayed you and broke your heart, be thankful for the love you were able to give them and quickly come to realize that that person made the choice to not want it.  It is no fault of yours.  That choice was made by them and they must live with it.  Feel bad for them for losing the chance to have someone as amazing as you in their lives.  And move on. 

In any of these circumstances, the choice of how you respond is yours and yours alone.  You can allow these things to break you, or you can choose to rise up from the ashes better than you were before.  Use the strength you have from knowing that this situation didn’t end you.  That you are still here, living, breathing, and striving to do better.  Allow yourself to love yourself.  Grow and succeed.